Desperation

Go on back to the locker room and take off your shoes and socks. I’m gonna sit here so I can watch you.

Should I go to the locker room with him? No, he can handle it himself.

All set?

Good boy.

Class is about to start.

Hug and a kiss?

Have fun!

They’re so cute. I wish I had that much energy. Gawd, he is so strong! He’s the best one in the class…

Why do I torture myself by looking at these magazines. I’m bored, that’s why. This is boring – sitting here…waiting…watching…always watching. I’m a terrible mother. I should be completely captivated and interested in watching every movement he makes. I’m an embarrassment to motherhood. Look at those mothers sitting over there. They’re all watching their kids. They probably think I’m an uncaring mother…superficial – looking at my magazine instead of watching my kid. The “good mommy group”. They are so self-righteous. Jeesh. I would rather look at my silly magazine than join in on their baby talk and childbirth stories anyways.

I feel bad for that guy…having to listen to them talk about placentas and vaginal tears…don’t they have any modesty.

Yeah – I feel for you big guy. It’s gross. You should move over here and talk to me. I won’t bore you with baby talk and childbirth. Been there…done that...movin' on. I’m interesting, you know. I don’t know anything about sports…but I’m good for some harmless flirting…

Oooh. That’s a pretty dress…I’d never look like that in it…but I could wear those shoes…

Did you say you had botox injections? I’ve been thinking about doing that. Did it hurt?

Ugh…I make myself sick. I am so desperate to be included in someone’s conversation…I’m not even remotely thinking about having botox injections.

Just a little headache for few days? I could probably deal with that. Maybe next time you see me I’ll look as great as you.

Jeesh. Shut up already. You are such an ass-kisser! She doesn’t look thaaat great. Gawd, you make me sick. You are so desperate!

Oh, now these ladies are having an interesting conversation.

Ooh, ooh. I’ve been to the Dominican. I know a great place you can stay…

Jeesh. Mind your own business.

Yeah baby!…tropical drinks poolside…

Gawd…Mind your own business.

Excuse me. Did you say you’re thinking of going to the Dominican?

We go there every winter. It’s so great. Perfect temperature…gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Did you pick a resort yet?

Darn. She already booked.

Whatever. I didn’t want to talk to you anyways. Hmmm. This is a cute outfit.

Did she say Cedardale? I belong to that club!

Darn, I don’t play tennis.

Gawd! Stop it already! Mind your own business. Geesh. You are so desperate. You’ll talk to just about anyone won’t you!

Yeah. It is a cute outfit, isn’t it.

Come on now, I wish whe I was pregnant I looked as great as you do! I was always so huge. Don’t worry. You’ll be back in shape in no time.

Yeah it’s not easy being…