Busted!

****WARNING*****
Sexually Explicit Content!

Last week we got Busted!! by the CAPS (Children Against Parents having Sex).

We've been busted before...but the other times we have been able to quickly pull up the covers to shield our darling's innocent eyes from the nastiness.

This time was different.

It was a very awkward moment, to say the least.

Before I go into explicit detail as to the state we were in, let me just say that it had been 5 days since we last saw each other (the incident happened the night after Dan got back from his trip to LA).

So here are the nasty details.

We had just put the boys to bed...I mean literally...like a minute had passed.

Typically, after we put the boys to bed they fool around...we have to go back into their room several times to tell them to stop fooling around...eventually we have to threaten them in some way...usually we threaten to send them up to the dark attic to play with the bats (you know...because bats are the only ones that are allowed to play at night). Sometimes one of the boys will come out their room to pee or ask for a glass of water or tell us that the other is fooling around. We usually hear them coming out of their room...we usually hear them pitter patter down the hall...they usually knock on the door and wait until we invite them into our room.

I was in the process of folding laundry. I was standing there, minding my own business, bent over the side of the bed organizing freshly folded clothes into neat piles of who, what and where they belonged.

I guess Dan saw me bent over and couldn't resist (he's a butt man). I guess he couldn't wait until he was absolutly sure the boys were truly sleeping.

Dan swooped around behind me and started kissing my neck (my weakness...makes me trembly and weak in the knees). He reached around my waist and pulled me in close. I could feel how much he missed me...and I missed him too. So, despite my better judgement, I didn't stop him.

I thought for a moment that we should lock the door...but then I thought, we won't actually go at it until after the kids are asleep...or if we do get into it, we will hear them if they come out of their rooms and we will have time to do something about it.

I don't want to bore you with the play-by-play...so I will just get to the actual bust.

There I was, standing, leaning against the side of the bed, panties still slung around my ankle. Dan was on top of me...behind me...his pants and undies were still on...down near his knees. He was shirtless as I had all but torn it from his body moments prior. My own shirt was still on but pushed up high above my breasts. His hand was cupping my right breast...the other around my waist and on my hip...and then it happened.

We did not hear their bedroom door open.

We did not hear the pitter patter of little feet scurrying down the hall.

We did not hear a knock on the door.

We just heard a little voice...very clearly NOT on the other side of the door.

We both froze mid-thrust and turned around.

Alex was standing in our doorway.

I said, "Oh...hghhh...Hi Alex."

He timidly said, "Uhmmm. Brandon is fooling around."

Dan said, "Ok...Go back to bed."

I thought Dan would extract himself and go deal with the boys.

He didn't. He just went back to work.

I fully expected the boys to continue fooling around.

They didn't. They went dead silent and fell asleep without further intervention.

As a matter of fact, every night since that night has been a breeze to put them to bed. Noone has dared to screw around at bedtime...hehe except Dan and myself.

So. If you are having trouble getting your kids off to bed quickly and quietly...try this somewhat unorthodox method. It worked for us.

**Bear in mind, the position you are caught in needs to be very precarious. Otherwise, it might not work. For example, had we been actually on the bed, the child might have decided we were just about to go to sleep and maybe it was just too hot to wear jammies...or maybe our jammies were all in the laundry. Had we both been completely naked, the boy might have assumed that we had both just taken a bath and were simply helping each other dry off...or put lotion on...or something. The fact that we were both half clothed was indeed awkward enough to send the child scurrying back to his room without hesitation and off to sleep without further ado.

There you have it. BUSTED!