Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Aging Beauty

I have always felt too young. It seemed like I always wanted to be older...At age 4 I wanted to be old enough to play outside unsupervised. At age 10 I wanted to be old enough to go to the movies withouth an adult. At age 13 I wanted to be old enough to drive. At age 16 I wanted to be old enough to get into an R rated movie...and then, of course, at age 18 I wanted to be old enough to drink alcohol...

Lately, however, I have found myself wanting just the opposite. I have been longing for my younger, carefree, responsibility-free days to return. It doesn't help, either, that there are more and more white hairs popping out of my head (hairs that I diligently search for every day and pluck out with intense contempt). And then there are those shocking moments of realisation...when suddenly I am slapped in the face with the number of years that have passed since I graduated from college...or the harshness of having been alive when people still played records...or when I call a DVD a Tape... or, the worst insult of all, being called Mam'.

I am beginning to feel old...and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Someone once told me that it is dificult for a beautiful woman to grow old. I am not going to fake modesty and deny being attractive. I have always been noted for my appearance. It has become one of the ways I see myself...and I enjoy it. But growing old is tedious. It takes so much more work to look good now. The taughtness of my althetic build needs a little help now to maintain its shape and my diet has become very green.

So I've been in a bit of a panick lately. My gorgeous, sexy, head-turning days are numbered. I find myself wondering if I've still "got it"...if I can still make men trip over themselves to gain my attention and favor. I haven't practiced this skill in many years, so I'm not sure if I'm still able. And then, I feel disgusted with myself that I am thinking this thought. I'm a married woman. I love my husband. I know he thinks I am the most gorgeous ad sexy woman on Earth...why isn't that more reassuring to me. I hate that lately I've been basing so much of my self-worth on my appearance. I was never one to obsess about my appearance...but I think that's because my good looks always came naturally and effortlessly.

Anyways. I know that there is more to me than just my looks. I know I am intelligent and talented and nice...those are the things that I spent my youthful years developing. I didn't think too much about being gorgeous...I took it for granted. Now that they are dwindling I am not taking them for grated.

I am an aging beauty. Like it or Lump it.
Posted by at

3 comments:

Distant Timbers Echo said...

Well, you don't find it reassuring that your hubby thinks your sexy because you might say he's just biased.

On the other hand, you had lots of younger men in SB making eyes at you, wanting desperately to dance with you "the hard way", and you have had a certain redneck nerd drooling on his keyboard while talking to you!

But, on the other hand, you have to take the beauty that you have right now, the beauty possibly lined with crinkles 'round the eyes and the white hairs that find themselves growing and know that you are more beautiful now than you ever had been before.

Smooth skin and all that is not just a physical attribute, but a sign of what's going on inside the mind as well. Men know that if a woman has unbelieveably beautiful, smooth, flawless skin and a perfect shape, that girl is most likely young, which equates to a certain immaturity that normal older men won't find attractive at all. Girls that age are perfect for boys that age, because boys that age are just as immature as the girls. But as we grow older, the older men (the ones without issues, anyway) are attracted to the girls who have become women, whose maturity level has increased. Men who only love and gawk at the younger women have problems with themselves and their maturity in that department has been stumped.

The older you get, Leeniegirl, the more beautiful you get in my eyes, because it is the men who share your age like me who have the maturity that you most likely will find the most desireable as well. So there's no need to worry at all, is there?

:D

1:23 PM
Greyhound Girl said...

You are a beautiful woman, judging from you picture- no denying it. i understand how sometimes aging is scarey- I agree totally and it is difficult to do it gracefully. Maybe you are thinking you are old and might be surprised at those around you who never consider it for a second- and that men still do those double takes- you might not be aware. I think you might be surprised...

9:33 PM
E said...

Hi Guys! Thanks for comments. Iguess beauty really is relative, isn't it...and in the eyes of the beholder. My sister also says that guys stare and drool after me left and right but she says that I am oblivious to them because I don't care to meet them. I like to think ur all right...but really, I am working on getting used to being older and doing it gracefully. thanks for stopping by. XXOO-E

4:03 AM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)