I HATE HER! I HATE HER!! I HATE HER!!!!!

I am sitting at the piano - which is an upright and against the wall in my living room near the sliding lgass door (but in real life I have a grand piano centered in the back half of the living room). I am trying to play but I my fingers won't work. I am so angry and frustrated because my father's (who in this dream looks like Harrison Ford, the young Harrison) girlfriend is here (she looks like a pretty young actress that I've seen in some movies but I don't know her name) and I want to make her feel small - make her see how good at the piano I am. I hate her I HATE HER!! I HATE HER!!!! I am fuming with rage. Dad is just on the other side of the sliding door with my siblings (who in this dream are Alex and Brandon) and her. He is grilling some burgers. I HATE HER!!! I am so enraged by her I start screaming and throwing an unbelieveable tantrum. I am so jealous of her. I am threatened by her. But in my dream my love for my father feels like being in love - not the kind of love one has for a father but for a boyfriend. I am banging the keys and banging them and making a terible racket btween my screaming and pounding but every once in a while I slow down and try to play something prettily again. Colin is standing by the piano with me. He is looking up at me dolefully with his big round eyes and he is sucking on a freeze pop, I think it was red. I think she gets scared off by me - she feesl bad that she is causing all this...so she leaves. Dad tries to get her to stay. I know she's coming back. Dad goes back to grilling and tries to ignore my fit. I want him to come to me and comfort me but he refuses to give in to me. He is not gettting mad he is just merrilly grilling. He is determined not to let me get under his skin and not to let me ruim this thing with her for him. I am still slamming the piano and occassional trying to play it but the keys get jammed up - like the way an old fashioned typewriter gets jammed up when you type too fast. The last 2 lower octaves are the keys that have jammed like a typewriter .and the white key pads on these particular keys are all worn and faded and some have fallen off. The rest of the keyboard still loks fresh but have gone askew so they are broken too. I feel so bad that I did this because he worked so hard to buy this for me...it cost a lot of money...and I waited a very long time to have a nice piano. I know she's coming back so I am still trying to ge my playing back together but I'm playing horribly. All the while A+B are on the deck with D and asking him why is she acting that way...why is she so angry...aren't you going to do something. She comes back. She is at the front door. I jump up from the piano and run to the door. I want to get there before him so I can make her leave. I want to beat the crap out of her. I HATE HER SO MUCH!!! I am furious she is here and Dad loves her....but dad is in the front hallway ahead of me. He is just about to reach the door so I start screaming at him how I hate him IHATE HIM and I HATE HER! He turns and says try not to be angry...I'll get used to her... there is nothing I can do about it. Try to understand. I am hurting his feelings but he is not getting angry - he understands. I scream through blinding tears why do you need her?! Why aren't I enough for you?! So then get out! Get out of here! And I push him forward toward the door that is wide open. The storn door is closed but the glass is not in it so I push him out the door, through the storn door and into her. He is resisting and I get some satisfaction in the fact that he didn't go willingly and that he seems to care even though he wont bend to my will to leave this girl. I am crying and screaming hysterically. I run up the stairs to my room and slam the door shut. I am screaming and crying hystericaly and I want my father to come up to me. I want her to leave. I want my dad all to myself. I am so filled with rage.

I don't remember how the dream jumped into this next phase and this section is very hazy - I don't recall a great deal but I think I am running away from home. I am in the woods. I am walking angrily, sulkingly, mopingly down a path. I can still feel my hurt and longing with such intensity. It is sunny out. It is not hot or cold. The trees seem a bit bare - like it is autumn but I don't think it is autumn - I feel like it is early summer. I am walking down a slight hill. I remember meeting someone along the way I once knew (I don't remember who). I get the feeling it was someone I didn't really want to see - or someone I didn't really like that much... I remember crossing a bridge over a trickling brook. I think I hung oiut on the bridge for a while - looking over it, contemplating what has happened. I decide to turn around and go back. I see that person off to the left...I don't want her to see me so I hurry along. I think I trip and she comes voer. We exchange some words...don't remember what but I think we walk a little bit together but I really just want to be left alone with my thoughts. Going back was up hill, a rather high hill...still dirt path through woods/trees.

That's all I remember and I think I woke up soon after.