Response to Debbie's Text

My sister sent me a text today.

She said, "I LOVE YOU! Be strong. Find happiness from within not from outside. Figure out what would provide MEANING to you personally (besides your kids). It will not come from attention and approval of others. But rather will require deep soul searching."

Yes. She is wise. But...isn't that the big question everyone is trying to answer? What will make me happy? A big career? Big house house? A big car?...to be perfectly honest, I think what would make me happy is to find that special someone who fulfills me. I think she was trying to tell me to not need someone else to make me happy...but I think the truth of the matter is everyone needs someone to complete them because noone can be everything in themselves.

I seem to have everything. I have a sincere, loyal husband, 3 amazing children and 2 beautiful dogs. I have a nice house in a nice town in a nice neighborhood. I have a nice car and a cool job that I don't need and I can quit any time. I have tons of hobbies and interests with which I pursue with vigor, I have a house full of beautiful things and a closet full of stylishness, I have tons of amazing friends, several with whom I can really confide...I have siblings with whom I am practically connected at the hips and parents who live nearby...what I don't have is a special person in my life that interests, stimulates, challenges and motivates me. I don't have someone who makes me feel alive and for whom I do the same. I don't have someone who makes me feel complete. I feel hollow. I feel lonely and bored...almost all the time. I feel so empty.

I love my huband. He is a wonderful man...But is he the guy for me??

I don't know.







I thought love didnt matter. I thought there is no such thing as a person with whom one can connect with for the rest of their lives. I basically thought marriage was a living arrangement. I still dont know if that special lifelong connection with someone exists. But, now, what I have discovered that it is neccessary and important to be with someone that gives their lives emotional, intellectual and physical satisfaction...someone with whom there is a profound connection on many levels and with whom there is room for change and growth...as life is maleable and so is love.





It seems that without love, life, no matter how perfect it may appear on paper, is tasteless. I feel a lack of motivation, strength, patience...





I suppose in the end, noone can really tell how things will turn out...but I think if you start with the finest ingrediants the end result is more likely to be paletable...and something you'll want to ingest over and over and over again.