Barf-A-Rama

Today's topis was pretty boring. The boys and I played a game. We tried to name animals for each letter A-Z. But It was interesting to see what animals they thought of and often surprising.

So, I'm not going to bore you with today's list.

Instead, here is yesterday's topic:

Things that Gross Me Out:

Regarding Eating
Eating sounds: Since I was a child, eating sounds have always grossed me out. I know everyone makes them. I know I make them. But they still make me sick. I think because my father ate very loudly. He could slurp up anything...even dry, sticky rice! I think it may be a Korean thing - eating loudly - like one of those if you can't hear them eating they must not be enjoying...Anyways. It drives me nutz!

Food particles: I find it really repulsive when people eat so piggishly that they get food stuck on their face. Jeesh. Just slow down. Take smaller bites. There are no coyotes or vultures behind the drapes!

Neck Twisiting: Dan has this habit of twisting his neck every time he swallows. It is a result of eating years of his father's over-cooked food. The food was so dry that in order to swallow it he had to twist his neck. I am a very good cook and rarely overcook things so he should stop doing that. I hate it.

Finger Licking: Grosses me out. Especially the smacking sound that accompanies finger licking.

Regarding Feet
Cracked-up Crusty Feet: Really, REALLY grosses me out!

Cracked up Crusty Toenails: They have stuff to fix that you know...or just don't wear open toe shoes...

Smelly Feet: It's really bad when someone can smell your feety from over 5 feet above.

Dirty Toenails: Gross when there's stuff stuck under them.

Long Toenails: Besides being really ugly, that can't feel good wedged up against the inside of a shoe - but then again if I am noticing your overly long toenails then you must not be wearing shoes. Just cut them for gawd sake!

Yellow Toenails: Ewe.

Regarding Breath
Bad Breath: Another thing that I am highly sensitive to is bad breath.

Hungry Breath: THis is the way a person's breath smells when they have gone too long since eating. I used to notice this a lot when I worked in the corporate setting.

Coffee Breath: I just don't like it. Chew some gum.

Banana Breath: My father always ate bananas and then would get really close to my face and yell at me. He didn't eat bananas in order to yell at me. It just happens that he was always eating bananas and yelling at me. As a result - I find banana breath really offensive.

Wisdom Tooth Breath: This is the way a mouth can smell after having a wisdom tooth extraction - sort of pussy, infected, stanky type of smell. I know it's not your fault - but please just don't talk to me until your mouth has healed or I might hurl.

Regarding Kids

Ear Waxy kids: When I was a kid, there was this boy in my class who always had large clumps of yellow and brown ear wax hanging out in his ears...not once in a while...not a little...I mean all the time and a LOT of it! He was also always dirty and smelly. Now that I am grown up I feel sorry for this kid because I know he was neglected. But he was the start of my awareness of personal hygene. Anyways, I cannot stand ear wax. I've seen ear wax in the ears of many a very well cared for child so ear wax is not indication of how well a child is cared for but it still grosses me out.

Snotty kids: My kids have been snotty kids. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with their runny noses and running legs...But it's still gross.

General Hygene

Dandruff: Just gross.

Oily Hair: Wash it and it won't be oily anymore.

Afro-hair: It's really a cool look. Really. But to me it always looks like it must smell scalpy or something must be living in it.

Toilets: I guess I've cleaned so many toilets that every toilet just looks like little boys have been miss-firing, puking or spewing diahreah on them. Toilets are gross.

Sink Crud: It's gross even though I know it's just food particles.

Hair: The hair that collects at the bottom of the bathtub/shower really grosses me out. I don't know why. I mean, it's clean. But I guess it just looks really gross.

Garbage Cans: Particularly in the summer...and if someone throws something away that needs to be retrieved.

Dog Poop: I don't know why but dog poop in particular really grosses me out. I can shovel barrels and barrels full of horse poop - walk all over, climb on top of it - but I see a little tiny speck of dog poop and I feel like I need to shower for an hour.

Diaper Genie: I am almost through with my Diaper Genie forever! Yahoo! Can't wait to throw it away!

Gym Bags: I cringe when I see it sitting in the laundry room. I dread going into it. My skin crawls before I even touch it. My future looks bleak as I am sure that sometime in the near future I will have 3 more disgusting gym bags to go through.

Finding Old Bottles: Every once in a while a bottle will turn up - usually filled with old, curdled milk. Gross. I used to wash and santize. Now I just toss the whole thing away.

Cleaning up Vomit: Need I say more.

Vomitting into a Toilet: I know this is where you are supposed to puke. But just the idea of putting my face where people put their asses is enough to make me puke.

Out Houses: No explanation needed.

Public Showering Facilities: Just looks like athelete's foot waiting to happen.

That's what I came up with in 30 Minutes on the Machine. Now I need to take a really long scalding hot shower...