It is a perfectly gorgeous day today. The perfect day for taking a nice long walk.
The Jehovas Witnesses thought the same thing. They stopped by my home again this morning. They show up at my door every few months. And no matter what I've tried to deter their return, they always come back.
I've tried telling them that I have my own religion that I practice regularly (actually I don't go to church very often - by my husband is practically a priest so I figure I can be religious by osmosis, just as I am Irish by association). But they don't seem to care. They still push their literature on me and tell me they will come back to discuss it...and they always do.
I've tried telling them that I was very busy with the kids at the moment. They say they will come back a little later - and they do...and it's usually during our sacred nap time.
I've tried patiently listening to their schpiel and accepting their literature, thinking if I just cooperate then it will be over more quickly. But - You give them an inch and they take a mile...and then some. They talk forever and say they will come back after I've had time to read the literature...and they do.
Today, I said I didn't actually live here. I told them I was the nanny. I thought they would go away and say they would come back...at which time I could hide or come to the door naked. But they handed me the literature and wanted to talk. Then Colin came up from behind me saying, "Mommy mommy mommy". I laughed and said, "I'm here so much he thinks I'm his mother". After a few minutes of trying to convince them that I was religious and righteous, Brandon came up from the playroom and said, "Mommy, can I have a cookie". Now I was really embarressed because Brandon in almost 5 years old so it is clear that he knows who I am. The two ladies looked at me scournfully and nudged past me to introduce themselves to my children. This really pissed me off. How dare they enter my home and address my children. They asked the boys if they knew who God was. Brandon said, "He lives in heavan and is all around." Colin looked at me and put his finger in his mouth (it would have been really cool if he put his middle finger in his mouth but it was the pointer). I looked at the ladies and said, "See, we do have religion. Now if you will excuse me I have things to do" and I shuffled them out the door. As they backed down my stairs they made a last ditch effort at showing me the path to salvation. I put up my hand and said. "Listen, I really don't want to be rude, but I don't appreciate these visits. As I stated, we have our own religion and would like to be left alone to practice it. Please do not come back to my home."
But I am sure that they will come back - especially now that they know I am a sinning liar.
Peace be with you.
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JW's wouldn't leave my wife's brother alone after he moved out of the house, so he and his room mate saw them coming up the walk one day in their little white starched shirts and sock ties and wearing those bicycle helmets from riding around down in packs like they do... and they scrambled to get the preparations they had made.
He opened the door with this hollow look in his eyes and a ripped Satanic shirt on. The JW's glanced into the livingroom where his roomie had a realistic looking fake chicken and was about to cut its head off with a huge butcher knife in some kind of odd ceremony they rigged up for theatrics.
He invited them to "Join", and they tripped over each other running like hell back up the walk and out of the neighborhood! Hahaha!
They might have some sort of communications network or something because he was never... ever bothered again by any JW's! That also might be why you keep being bothered. Maybe they flagged your house as a "sucker" or something because you're so nice to them.
"...riding around DOWN?"
How about "...riding around Town."
I know - I have a terrible habit of always being cordial and unoffensive. I think I may have to git masalf a dead chickn an cleaver...
My daddy would do one of two things when the JW's came 'round. Sometimes he would tell them "I don't buy religion that is sold door to door" then firmly close the door in their faces, mouths agape. Other times, he would step on the porch and tell them he wanted a word of prayer before they get visitin'. He would bow his head and say something like, "Dear God, give me the strength to clean all the blood off the front steps again... after I provide you with a scarfice that you saw fit to deleiver right to my door.." and he would go on in this vain until he would notie that suddenly he was a-prayin' all alone on the stoop. Hmmmm- we haven't has a JW in these parts for some time...
Hi Prof! Haha I LOVE IT! What a tease and a devil! I don't know if I would have the gutts to do something in your face though. But I Love it! This would make a great list for 30 Minutes on the Machine: Way to Deter JWs...stay tuned. Oh, and THANK YOU for your complement re: my suff. It's nice to know that someone doesn't think I'm just silly and mushy;) By the way, I keep meaning to go to your sight and ask you if you like opera and if you do get the Pavarotti CD entitlted, "My Heart's Delight" it is sooooo Magnificent - has all the most famous love songs...check it out!
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