Extreme Sports

There is an embankment in my yard going from the courtyard to the backyard. Down the embankment there is a set of stone and gravel stairs.

Today Colin was sliding down the stairs on his butt when he suddenly stopped. He thought for a moment, got up and retreated back up the stairs, through the courtyard and into the driveway.


When he reappeared he was pushing a red plastic ride-on toy.

I was busy doing something important...I think I was peeling off my fingernail polish or looking for split ends...so I was only half paying attention to what he was doing. At first I figured he was just going to scoot around in the courtyard...then I noticed he was moving toward the stairs so I thought he was going to drag it into the backyard...

At this point I decided this could be dangerous so I stopped what I was doing to give him my full attention.

When I looked into his eyes, I realized that he wanted to play...

Extreeeeeeme Spooorts!

He was sitting at the top of the stairs, glint of excitement in his eyes, focused on the landing...

"Colin. Do NOT go down those stairs."

"I'm telling you Colin, that is Nooot a good idea. OUchie! It's gonna hurt...Daaaangerous!"

Little legs start sliding the toy back and forth...

"Colin. Doooon't do it. I am Not taking you to the hospital for stitches."

And off he goooooes!

"Weeeeee!!! Hahahahahahaha..hhhhhhgh...

badumpdmp....................................WahhhhhhhhH!"

"Colin, are you Hahaha O hahaha Khahahah....."

I'm sorry but you should have seen what he looked like going down that hill!!! The stairs are not steep - shallow and deep, so he actually made it all the way down the embankment. Only when he hit the grass did the ride get bumpy and he eventually flipped onto soft grass.

Four Things

Ms. Lori is one sneaky little bugger. She got tagged with "Four Things" and posted her answers in her Blog...I opened it so now I am tagged and obligated to respond (I am very superstitious).

...so if you read her Blog - beware!

...and if you are reading this...

TAG! You're It!

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Four jobs you have had in your life:
1) Counter waitress at a donut shop and at McDonald's
2) Miller Beer girl - the cheesy ones that are in bars
3) Competitive Business Analyst in financial services industry
4) Interior decorator and mural artist

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1) Far and Away
2) Legends of the Fall
3) The Red Violin
4) Moulin Rouge

(Basically anything romantic on an epic scale)

Four places you have lived:
1) Tewksbury
2) Boston
3) Georgetown
4) in my thoughts

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1) Survivor
2) The Office
3) Sex and the City reruns
4) Cooking shows - especially if they have Julia Childs in them (God rest her soul...I just get a kick out of her...the way she fuddles around the kitchen sort of babbling and blubbering about cooking and in the end everything's so amazing. Bon Appetite!)

Four places you have been on vacation:
1) Costa Rica (the hottest place in the world!! It was blistering hot!!!)
2) Bermuda (expensivest place in the world)
3) Dominican Republic (friendliest place in the world)
4) Disney Hell (evilist place in the world)

Four websites I visit daily
1) Horoscopes.com
2) Boston.com
3) ioffer.com
4) My favorite Blogs, which I wish I could blogroll but I am a techniditz and can't figure out how even though the directions appear be quite straight-forward.

Four of my favorite foods:
1) Pizza, extra cheesy, extra greasy with nice cold brews!!!! many of them!
2) Korean food
3) Practically anything fried
4) Anything anyone else prepares for me

Four places I would rather be right now:
1) In bed...uhm, napping
2) Riding...or just hangin' with the horsies
3) In the top 1% income bracket
4) Hanging out with good friends, drinking and shootin' the shit.

Four things I always carry with me:
1) My wallet - one small enough to stuff in my back pocket with only essentials (a few bucks, credit card, insurance cards, license)
2) cell phone (although it's not always on - which drives people crazy)
3) chewing gum
4) My sense of humor and a good dose of sarcasm.

20 Questions

In no particular order:

1. Why do dogs spin around before finally laying down in a spot?

2. Why is it that I am the one who cleans the toilets in our home when I am the only one that never misses?

3. On Teletubbies this morning there was a little girl drawing a turkey. When she drew on the gibbly thing that hangs from its chin, I thought it looked like a limp penis...does that make me a pervert?

4. ...and talking about Teletubbies...what is scarier, Teletubbies or Boobah?

5. If chocolate causes the body to produce the same chemical as sex, then how much chocolate does one have to eat to have an orgasm?

6. What the heck is Colin saying???

7. Where is Waldo?

8. Who is Waldo?

9. Why do cows and horses smell so different...they basically eat the same thing.

10. Why do siblings have to drive each other crazy all the time? It's driving me Crazy!

11. Why isn't the word "blood" spelled "b-l-u-d"...doesn't "b-l-o-o-d" really spell blue-d?

12. Where did the word eubonics come from?

13. Who is that lady that wanders around downtown chain smoking and what is her story?

14. Why is it that children have so much damn energy and adults do not...wouldn't it make more sense the other way around?

15. Why did mother nature decide that babies should wake up a thousand times in the night...isn't the newborn stage when parents need sleep the most?

16. When a telemarketing professional recieves a telemarketing solicitation, do they hang up on the solicitor?

17. Why can't we all just get along?

18. Who was that crazy-ass person who first looked at a wild horse and thought it would be fun to catch an animal that weighs over a ton and try to ride it around? (but thank you for doing so)

19. Would you rather be a piggy wig or a wiggy pig?

20. Where is our escape hamster Loco is hiding?

Please enlighten me so I can get some sleep.

Spring has Sprung

It was an amazing day today.

* The sun shone bright and the air felt warm enough to go without a jacket today.

* Brandon, Colin and I took a walk in the woods - a mighty forest where bears hang out and serpants hide in little holes. We walked along a stone wall but we got down before we reached "Chinese". We found a weapon an "ancient" must have dropped while escaping the dragon that lives in the hole in that tree...and climbed to the top of a mountain.

* The bearded irises are poking their way out of the ground. They are the pride of my gardens.

In full bloom they are a glorious mass of violet - victoriously heralding another defeat over winter's wrath. Later the blooms will wither and the plant will concede to serve as backdrop for months of showy summer blossoms. When summer has waned and the flowers have gone, the irises will remain - upright, pointed leaves, standing strong - another summer outmatched - not scorching sun nor dismal drought or little trampling feet, not hungry beatles, wicked weeds and vines could wear them down. When autumn finds itself in full, the irises retire. They'll stow away their summer clothes and sleep until tomorrow.

* Landscaper came by today to give us a bid on lawnmowing for the season...he was a hottie...Zach. Dan asked me what I thought about him...I said we should hire him so I have something nice to look at this summer;) he said, ok. Isn't he great?!

* The boys and I had lunch in the courtyard for the first time this year. Peanut Butter and Jelly snadwiches, blood oranges and milk. Yummm.

* Alex and Brandon found a flower in our garden. A big purple crocus. The first one. They came running into the house - blazing with excitement, urging me to come quickly to see the flower! Brandon wiped out in his excitement but got swiftly to his feet, took my hand and led me to their treasure. They didn't pick the flower as they know I like my flowers to stay in the beds...and the ones for vases I like from the store. But I wouldn't have minded this time if they picked the flower for me.

* Opened the windows all around the house. Out stale air...welcome in fresh clean air.

* Went out for date night...found my new drink ( to replace the cosmopolitan)...chocolate martini.

* Did well on my diet tonight...ceasar salad and eggplant with pasta (I am being sarcastic)...no dessert.

Knock, Knock...Richard

Richard is my Irish twin. He is 10 months my junior.

I Know. Wow! But my mother says she didn't plan it that way (I would never have assumed that). In her words, "You're father did not cooperate".

As you can see by his picture he is VERY handsome. He has a side gig as a model. He has exotic almond-shaped eyes that slant slightly. When he is in a playful mood they gleam and twinkle. When he is pissed-off they turn into daggers that could kill.

He is gifted with the same elegant frame as my sister and has long, tapering limbs and rock hard abs.

He hates his body.

Richard is also one of the most intelligent guys I know. He is literally a rocket scientist...and damn good at it! He says he hates being an engineer because he hates working with so many stiffs. But I can't imagine him doing anything else. For as long as I can remember he has loved science. As a girl I would wander into his room and poke around at all the interesting things in there. He was always studying, inventing, reconstructing... Fascinating!...and messy!

Richard is Soooo sweet and thoughtful. For example, when he wraps a gift, he doesn't just toss on some paper like most boys. He takes his time to wrap it neatly and then he does this thing with the bow (the foil kind you buy at any store) where he cuts it up so it ends up looking kind of like a chrysanthemum...and the gifts he presents to you are always exactly perfectly what you never knew you always wanted.

Richard is a man of great passion. For better or worse, he feels things with the greatest intensity for everything affects him in the most enormous way.

He is also fiercely loyal to the people in his life. He is a person you can count on to rescue or defend you without hesitation or judgment...and you better watch out because he is formidable - a 2nd degree champion black belt in Tae Kwon Doe.

He is extremely competitive...not necessarily in wanting to beat the crap out of his competitors (because that is not his character) but rather in being the most accomplished and perfect competitor.

He is especially passionate in love. He lives for love. When he is in love he is all consumed -preoccupied with desire, overflowing in amoure. He is the ultimate classic romantic as he seeks to be the knight in shining armor - choosing women who need some saving and taking care of.

Unfortunately, he is very easily offended and deeply hurt...but pain is not something he concedes to. When wounded in the slightest way, he will become combatitive or simply withdraw and vanish for a long time. Perhaps he disappears into a notebook someplace where he can write his poetry.

So, Richard has always plagued me...more so now as I haven't spoken to him in several months. We had an ugly argument in which he said some terrible things to me and I retaliated by saying some terrible things back. I've tried to reconnect with him. But he really knows how to hold a grudge.

The thing is, he has always felt that nobody cares about him and that we all think he's a big loser.

I don't know why.

Actually, it is quite the opposite.

Some time in college was when he started to withdraw from our family...and it did not go unnoticed. Since then it has been an ongoing tug-o-war to hold him tight. It seems like we are always reaching out to him and he is always pulling away...or pushing us away.

I'm not sure what made him turn away from us.

I suspect he always felt alienated as a child.

Being the only boy, he was indeed set apart from my sister and myself. My sister and I would have our girly conversations and Richard would sit quietly with nothing to contribute - how could he...he was a boy.

But I think he forgets that when we were all tucked in our beds at night - my sister and me in our room and Richard in his own, we would think about him on the other side of the wall...all alone. We would knocked on the wall to let him know that we were still with him.

Being different didn't stop at our front door. It lurked in the school yard as well. We grew up in a very dominantly white community. He visited the Principal's office on several occasions after getting into fights over his unique heritage...it seems prejudice plays out more cruelly on boys...or at least more physically.

Perhaps he was more deeply affected by my mother's lack of energy to be emotionally available to us - she was always exhausted...working the night shift as a nurse, sleeping a little and then doing the exhausting job of homemaker/mommy before heading back to the hospital. The thing is, she was not emotionally available to any of us...but she did coddle him in the mommying way. I remember her rolling up his kim and cutting up his steak well into jr. high school.

Perhaps the beatings we suffered at the hands of our father were more severe on him because he was a boy...perhaps they left more than just bruises.

But the past is in the past. It can not be changed. The time is present and in it he has a mother who lights up like a school girl when she sees him; a father that likes to talk tech with him because he is proud of how smart he is - not because he wants to quiz him and undermine his confidence; and sisters who miss him.

Friendships may fade away, Lovers may come and go...but Family is Forever.

Knock, Knock...Richard, I'm still here with you.

All was Good in Dream Land

It took place at my mother's house. It was Me, Alex, Brandon, Colin and Debbie. Funny Dan wasn't there...I always feel guilty when everyone is in my dream but Dan.

For some reason we were all sleeping over. The boys and I just woke from our afternoon nap - which we took in the living room on the floor covered with bunches of Korean blankets that I recall from my childhood - the silk ones grandmother brought back from a trip to Korea and the coveted mink blanket that we fought over every night.

I wandered into the kitchen where my parents were sitting drinking coffee and eating peanuts and sliced apples. I set about to get myself a cup of coffee when my sister walked into the room. I didn't think too much about it but thought how nice it was that she was here for the occassion (I don't know what the occassion was).

The rice cooker was steaming and there was lots of food on the counters and stove - half prepared, waiting to be finished for the occassion. I saw a pot of Me-ya-gook (seawood soup) and stuffed some of the slippery, salty seaweed into my mouth. In my dream the seaweed was a bright green color but it is usually a dark foresty, almost blackish-brown color. My mother lovingly scolded me in Korean for dipping in before it was time.

Everything felt right and calm in my dream and there was a subtle feeling of happy anticipation.

With a mouth full of me-ya-gook, I turned around and almost knocked over my brother. He is so tall. 6ft+ tall (very tall for a Korean guy)...and I was so happy to see him...so happy because it's been so long since I've seen him and it's been a while since we've communicated because we had a terrible argument over something stupid. I've tried to reconnect with him but he really knows how to hold a grudge. Anways, I rememember thinking for a split second, "is he still mad at me" - but then I could see from his smile and the teasing twinkle he gets in his eyes that he wasn't mad anymore. I said, "Oh my God! Richard! I didn't know you were coming!" and I gave him a huge hug...and then I looked off toward the distant front door to see if his girlfriend had come as well.

I expected to see Lisa, his current live-in girlfriend that my parents don't approve of and wondered how that was going to play out. But when I brought my eyes back into the kitchen Mei-Ling was there. Mei-Ling was Richard's girlfriend from college. She is the girl that got away. We all loved her and wanted them to marry - she was beautiful, sensitive, kind, cultivated, smart (Wellesley girl)...and soooo sweet.

I was so happy to see her too! But my mouth was full of Me-ya-gook as I tried to say I'm so happy to see you - I didn't know you got back together again! I'm so happy you're back.

Mei-Ling had brought a little something...she had it packed in a cute little woven basket with royal blue, cottony-lineny lining with a tray inside to hold layers. The basket was a dark brown speckly looking basket that looked like it had been around - in a good way. Inside the basket was some kind of crackery appetizer with some kind of cheesy looking spread on top of the crackers that were layed out inside the top layer of the basket. It didn't look very pretty as she wasn't the most talented cook...but it was always the thought that counted. The top layer of the basket was slightey askew but I couldn't see what was in the botton layer - I assumed it was probably a cake or something because she was a baking type of girl.

Debbie, Mei-Ling and I set about doing stuff in the tight quarters of our kitchen - like sisters - chatting about nothing important. I remember Debbie telling Mei she liked her basket - and I told them about a cool asian inspired lunchbox I had seen in a magazine - it was made of hard, shiny plastic (like what plastic items made in asia always seem to be made with), it had 3 layers, each layer had a hinged cover that snapped closed and the 3 layers fit together, then a latch held them together and the whole thing was carried with a handle. I remember they didn't really care.

I remember seeing my mother's happy, smiling face as she navigated through the crowd of people in her kitchen as she began to finish the meal preparations...and I remember I could feel the presence of my fathers eyes as he sat noisily slurping up coffee and munching snacks. I could feel him as he always sits - looking like he is very seriously contemplating and assessing the scene, brows furrows, lips tightly pursed, about to ask some question that would instigate some argument...but I could feel that he too felt that all in the world was good at this moment.

Then I woke up from my nap time dream. Alex was telling Brandon to shut up and Colin was doing his wake-up cry.

Witches of Georgetown

A few months ago Alex got this hermit crab for his birthday. It has a Batman logo painted on its' shell...Alex loves anything superheros.

Hermes (pronounced Hermie not Ermez) was easy to care for...just needed a few crushed hermit crab pellets every once in a while and some fresh, filtered water. But I got so little gratification from him. I rarely saw him move but I know he moved around because I would find him in different spots of the cage. I found it laborious to care for him.

The other day, while giving Hermes fresh water (which takes all of a millisecond) I said, with deep sigh of disdain, "I wish he would just die".

The next day, he died.

Also this week, I was wanting some Pringles - not something I frequently desire. My mother showed up at my house with...PRINGLES!!!

Also, my husband did the grocery shopping this week and bought these honey wheat pretzels...something we have never purchased or eaten before in our lives...my mother showed up at our house with the exact same product!

Be careful! Don't make me mad! I think I'm a witch!

...but if you make me very happy I can make your dreams come true.

More Wisdom from Alex

I just remebered something Alex said...

It happened the other day as we were exiting our car to go to his gymnastics class. The parking spot was a bit tight and another car was wanting to pull into the next spot. Alex had just climbed out of the car as I came around the side to retrieve him. Our car door was still wide open and the other car went ahead and swooped into the narrow spot. It seemed like the car just missed us.

I was so annoyed. I said, "What is her rush - Why couldn't she wait another second for us to get out of the way and close the door." Alex said, "Maybe her little boy needed to pee really bad."

Maybe that's what it was.

Thanks Alex for reminding me not to assume people are inconsiderate...to give everyone the benefit of a doubt that there is some sense to the lunacy.

Love you kid.

Belligerent Bitch

I am having insomnia and restless legs again...actually it should be the other way around...restless legs that results in insomnia...I took a sleeping pill...doesn't seem to be working...

So, I logged onto my computer, checked my emails, and checked in on some of my favorite blogs.

Much to my surprise I found that someone is angry with me. It was regarding a comment to her comment to a blog entry.

If anyone knows me well, they know that I am deeply affected when I offend or displease people...Luckily I don't have the slightest idea who the offended party is so I guess I won't dwell on it too much...or maybe that will only make it worse because I feel I can't work this out in private...but I have a feeling this would just turn into an ugly battle of words and I could never get it through her thick skull (yes an assumption based on what I've read thus far of her) that I didn't assume much...But I have a feeling this person really doesn't care too much anyways...

But it is plaguing me at this moment...because I didn't set out to offend her but set out with the most sincere intention of letting her know that she was not alone in what she felt...but she got mad at me for "assuming" that I could possibly know what she or anyone else in this world might feel. Well, I was NOT assuming that I knew how she "Felt" but merely saying that I can identify with her dilema as I too experienced similar type of prejudice...and also know someone very close and dear to me who experiences this type of prejudice and has difficulty in finding ways of overcoming it.

I don't know why I am letting this bother me...it seems pretty clear to me that this person has a rather large chip on her shoulder...really feels alone in this world as she can't imagine that anyone else could possibly identify with her, even in this silly little way...and is quite unforgiving...

I guess I should just feel sad for her...actually...fuck that...I think she is a belligerent bitch.

Too Many Little Boys in my Bed

Made up a song. It's simple and stupid and unpoetic but it goes...

Too many little boys in my bed
There's no place to lay my head
Alex, Brandon, Colin too
Too many little boys in my bed

There's a leg strewn here
an arm flopped there
Someone's drooling in my hair
Can't feel my arm...
I think its dead
Too many little boys in my bed

...Good thing I have a king size bed

Alex-isms

Alex is known for saying clever things...I don't think he realizes how clever he is...it just comes out.

Here is his latest...

I love to give my boys big, wet, smooshie kisses. Recently when Alex wiped off the goo I asked him, "Are you wiping it off, or rubbing it in?" He said, "Wiping it in". Good answer kid!

While I'm on the topic of Alexisms...

At the young age of 3 he came up with the question..."why do they call butterflies butter-flies? They should call them flutterflies"

...also some years ago...probably in year 3, one night when Dan and I were going out for a date Alex described it as, "going to do cheers and kisses" aka get drunk and make out.

I wish I had been keeping these things written down...there have been so many brilliant Alexisms throughout the years but I can't think of anymore at this moment.

Brandon did something really cute just yesterday that I meant to jot down but I already forget what it was...crap. Gotta be better and more prompt about getting these things down.

You guys are do cute...I guess the effects of Disney are finally wearing off and I'm noticing how cute and good you guys are again.

At this moment I am really wanting to sleep.

Sleep is always a challenge for me. It usually takes me forever to fall asleep and then when I do fall asleep I am usually interrupted by someone or something.

This evening sleep found me very quickly - but as does often occur, I was woken by one of my children wanting to sleep with me - this time Brandon.

I don't mind so much when Brand wants to sleep with me. He is so little and cute and doesn't take up too much room and doesn't move around too much - but he does have pointy elbows. Now my restless legs have kicked in...a terrible affliction - really...not life threatening but horribly inconvenient and aggravating...so I decided to get up and do something.

Usually I would take a drink or small snack and walk around a bit - but I have to take a fasting blood test tomorrow so food is out of the question...so here I am.

So I logged onto the computer and found one of my favorite Blog friends G has been visiting with me. I guess he watched a movie that got him thinking about life and worried about having wasted his.

This is something I think about a lot too. I think that is really why I keep this Blog...as a way of investigating what it is that I really want to accomplish in life...or what it is that I do/have accomplished in my life. I often wonder how/ if I am making a mark on this world. I'd like to make some sort of mark, even if it is only a little tiny black scuff.

The thing is, I think life never really turns out the way one expects. It seems everyone starts out in life thinking that they are going to be someone historic...do something amazing...but in the end it seems that life always gets in the way.

Life always seems to get in the way...in the way of fun, romance, accomplishments...the business of life is...well business...business before pleasure, right?

I always said I would never be one of those women who lives through their children...I'm not sure that I am totally one of those women...but I am to a great degree. After all, taking care of my children is what I do pretty much all day, every day. It is my "job" to coach them in reaching their goals, remove as many obstacles from their path as I can and boost them over any hurdle they may encounter. So, I take enormous pleasure and a little bit of credit when I see them blossoming into little men and puff up with great pride with each accomplishment.

So, I often wonder...am I wasting my own life by wanting to encourage the lives that sprang from within me? Perhaps.

But there are only so many hours in a day, a week, a life. If I spend too many hours working on myself, will there be time to work on my children? They are my life. So maybe working on them is equivalent to working on myself.

It suddenly occurs to me that maybe I am not so much living my life through my children but reallocating the dollars of my life into a more viable business. But does that mean I feel that my life - my fruitful life, has pretty much run dry?

Not sure...I don't think I'm dried up...flabby but not dried up.

My eyes feel heavy again. I will try to sleep again. Maybe I will have a nice juicy dream....

Reliving the Nightmare

I don't know what's wrong with me. I cannot stop reliving the nightmare of last week's Disney experience. I'm really trying to put it behind me...I even made a Blog entry about something other than Disney in an effort to re-track my thought process. But my mind just keeps drifting back to that horrible week. It's kind of like after a woman gives birth. She keeps re-playing and re-playing the events of the birthing process over and over...thinking about it...talking about it -in excruciating moment to excruciating moment detail. It's like they just can't belive that they experienced something so painful and they can't believe they survived it. I just keep replaying Disney Hell, over and over, trying to analyse and dissect the events to figure out how it is that I survived this trauma.

...I am going to bed now...I hope I don't dream about it...

Strategies for losing weight

My baby is almost 2 years old. I am still 25 lbs over my pre-Colin weight. In other words - I have not lost a single pound of "baby weight". I'm pretty sure it can no longer be considered "baby weight".

At first I tried to tell myself that I was retaining water. Then I tried to tell myself a lot of that weight was muscle from lugging around a big, healthy baby boy. Then I said, the weight will come off when it's ready. I kept telling myself, don't think about your body, it's so vain...and anyways, everyone always says I look great...for someone with 3 kids (I hate that qualifying comment).

Well, the pics from Disney tell the awful truth - I am a jiggly, full-figured, matronly woman - even for someone with 3 kids.

In the past, I found that the baby weight took about a year to melt away and it did so when my body was ready - regardless of how much or how little I ate and ran around. But it's 2 years later and I've run out of excuses and I'm tired of feeling bad about my body.

The thing is, I always find that diets tend to backfire on me. Whenever I diet, I find myself obsessing over food. In the end I usually gain weight. So, I am determined to get back to my svelte size 6 frame. I am determined to regain my bodily self-confidence...and, my psychic told me I was going to lose weight this year.

It's going to be really tough though because I really love food. I love to cook it, I love to read about it, I love to watch shows about it. I love gourmet food and junk food alike. I especially love having a full course dinner every week on date nite.

So, I've come up with some strategies to help me regain my figure.

1) Drink lots of water - even if it means you will need to pee frequently

2) Eat lot of small meals

3) Eat smaller portions and try not to be a member of the "clean plate club"

4) DO NOT eat the left-over mac-n-cheese from the kid's plates.

5) Do not watch tv shows in which people eat a lot. I noticed that when I watch shows in which people eat a lot I get very munchy.

Shows to avoid:
Love Monkies: They are ALWAYS eating in this show! This is the show that turned me on to the "watch and eat syndrome". I think this show has been discontinued. Good!

Survivor: Even though they don't eat food in this show, it was a favorite perversion of mine to eat food while I watched them starve.

Any show with cute little teenie boppers prancing around. Too depressing - they make me feel fat AND old and I start to feel like "what's the point"

Cooking shows: for obvious reasons

Television shows that are safe to watch:

Sex and the City: They don't eat food in this show. They just drink martinis...and that goes well with my evening glass of wine and Su Doku.

Fear Factor: Contains grotesque images that will kill any appetite

Sponge Bob: Non-sensical, silly comedy is always a good thing

ESPN: I am so disinterested in sports that watching this will just lull me right to sleep and I don't have to worry about getting a sudden craving

6) I've also decided to be wary of certain types of literature.

Things to avoid "reading":

Cooking magazines

Victoria's Secret catalogue

Fashion magazines

Playboy magazine - just kidding...I don't look at the pics in that...I read the articles;0

I also decided that I should avoid looking at my sister who has a perfect, beautiful, completely fat-free, size 2 figure. This should be pretty easy since she lives in LA...but will be difficult when I hook up with her in Miami in May.

Things that are safe to "read":

Georgetown Crier

TV Guide

People magazine

Playgirl magazine

7) As for meals, I also have some strategies. I decided that a major contributor to my husband's and my own weight issue is that the food I prepare just tastes and looks too good. So, I decided that I will try cooking foods that taste terrible and look terrible. I will try to burn as much food as possible and try to invent unpalletable combinations of ingredients. If this doesn't work, I will simply try cooking the same thing all the time - like plain oatmeal. In this way, we will be so bored with the food that we will not be tempted to over-eat.

Still. I feel like the tv and meals are not going to be enough to cut through 25 lbs of fat.

8) So I've decided to work in a little time on the elliptical machine that I bought last year, one week before we headed off to our usual winter-time escape in the Dominican and have not touched since.

(by the way, I forgot to mention another thing I hated about Disney was that there were way too many hot mommies hanging around the pool. I much prefer our usual winter destination in the Dominican where there are mostly slovenly ladies lounging around sipping pina coladas and smoking cigarettes)

The working out will be the hardest part of this "diet" as I really hate to exercise. It's not that I'm sedentary. Actually, I am anything but that. It's just that I prefer to do something productive, like dig a six foot trench in the desert.

Aren't there many other ways to burn calories than by running a marathon or being glued to a machine for an hour? Apparently not. Recently, my doctor asked me what I do for exercise. I told her that I chase around and clean up after 3 little boys, a big, hairy man and a furry, black dog. She told me that doesn't count. I don't know why that doesn't count...it leaves me hot, sweaty and exhausted every day!

**If anyone has any good strategies for losing weight...or is aware of some miracle pill..or a good weight-loss hypnosis therapist in the Boston area, I welcome feedback**

Home Sweet Insane Home

As anticipated, Disney World was not the "happiest place on Earth". I now refer to it as "Disney Hell". At one point, I actually stopped and said, "I feel like I'm in hell". I thought I said it low, but apparently not. Dan says that everyone stopped and looked at me. I don't think people were looking at me in shock. I think everyone was thinking the same thing and just wanted to know who actually said it.

I suppose it wouldn't have been so awful if we had just Alex and Brandon to deal with. But Colin really put me over the top. He is at that frightful age when kids are lightening fast and small enough to maneuver into little places that are large obstacles for grown-ups. He is at that fearless age when, with the devil in their eyes, they run heedlessly into dangerous situations and laugh at us when we scold them. He is at that terrible age when exhaustion comes on quick and heavy and sleep only follows long bought of crying.

I finally ended up buying a doggie leash and hooking it to the belt loop on his pants. It's a nice looking leash though - Disney leash that cost way too much money.

That was the 5th day of our "vacation". That night, while Dan was putting the kids to bed, I went down to the resort convenience store to get some milk and water. After purchasing the items I decided to duck into the bar and have a cocktail. My nerves were shattered and a Cosmopolitan was just the right kind of glue to put the pieces back in place. When I finished my Cosmo, I didn't feel quite ready to head back to Chaos, Confusion and Calamity, so I had myself another. During my second drink I began talking to some people and began to feel good and relaxed. I was finally having a good time. So, when I finished my second Cosmopolitan, despite my usually better judgment, I accepted another Cosmo from my new friend. By now I was quite tipsy but I didn't give a shit - This was the lousiest vacation I had ever been on and this was the best I'd felt and was likely to feel for the rest of the week. So, when I finished my 3rd Cosmopolitan and we were not quite finished talking, I had myself another. Four Cosmopolitans later I had had enough and was ready to jump back into the throat of hell.

Unfortunately, I was not walking quite straight anymore. Yup. I was SHIT FACED! Beyond any kind of drunk I had ever been...Even counting the college days. On the way back to my room, as I swayed waiting for the elevator, I fell. I'm pretty sure I fell straight backwards, like a stiff board. Luckily a nice young couple happened to be walking by at that moment and helped me back to my room because I think I would have passed out right there until morning. I was...Am...So Horrified that I got so wasted. I didn't mean to get drunk. I just wanted to feel relaxed. But. Disney World drove me to drink. That's right - I'm a Disney Drunk. I now feel sure that under all those happy Disney costumes are a bunch of alcoholics who, after the fireworks finish at the close of the parks, meet up at Dizzynee World.

Anyways, I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover EVER, a giant knob on the back of my head, whiplash (I think I hurt my neck during my fall) and a skinned elbow. I don't think I will ever drink another Cosmopolitan for the rest of my life.

But, I have to say, even though this "vacation" was an exhausting, stressful and chaotic experience. There were "magical" moments (this is where some of you may start getting bored with all the normal details of the family vacation - so feel free to stop reading).

As you know, the boys had no idea we were going to Disney World. They were so much convinced that they were not going to Disney World that even when the bus driver announced that he was taking us to Disney World, they sadly said, "Yeah, but we're not going there until Colin is four". Even after we told them we were taking them to Disney World, they sat there in disbelief for quite a while - "Are you joking me...Are we really going there..." Actually, the moment of revelation was a bit of a downer. I expected them to be hysterical with joy and excitement - but they were just dumbfounded with bewilderment.

The first night we were there, despite the exhaustion of the plane ride (during which Colin climbed all over us, wiggled away from us to run up an down the aisles and cried mercilessly while Alex and Brandon fought over everything), we went out to dinner at the Polynesian and watched the Polynesian show which included hula and tribal dancer in awesome, fancy, colorful costumes and of course, the fire twirlers. The boys LOVED it!! And it was fun to watch them mimicking from the sidelines what they saw on stage. They also went on stage to participate in a hula lesson - even Colin.

The second day we went to breakfast with the characters. Alex and Brandon were so psyched to meet them (but they wanted to know why they didn't talk - I said they had to save their voices for TV). It is so magical how kids really believe. We spent the remainder of the day chasing Colin around the pool, keeping Alex and Brandon from drowning and playing referee to many fights and arguments.

In the evening we went to Mickey's Backyard BBQ where they had an amazing time doing the hoe-down with Micky, Minnie, Chip, Dale and Goofy. Alex surprised us with his extreme interest in networking with the stars. He had to meet every one and get autographs and pictures with each (this continued throughout the rest of the vacation). Brandon was happy to be with just Goofy. Colin was happy to just run amuck.

On Sunday morning, after breakfast we went to Animal Kingdom. We totally did Animal Kingdom wrong. We started at Dino-Land - which was so lame, and we ended up wasting a lot of valuable time there. But Colin amazed me with his climbing ability in the Dino-Dig. He climbed all the way to the top and then slid all the way down the giant swirly slide. He is fearless - but that can definitely have its cons - as we quickly found out. Oh, one really fun thing we did there (and this was probably one of the few times I really had fun) was the Bugs Life thingy. It's a 3-D movie and it is SO AWESOME! At one point, it looks like one of the bugs is spitting poison straight at you and the theater spits water on you. Colin was so freaked out he screamed!! Hahahahaha. That was the part I found so fun;) Also did the Safari Ride - That was cool and fun. Africa was really cool too.

That evening we went to Downtown Disney for dinner where we had a fabulous dinner at McDonalds. Actually, I have to say , it was the best Big Mac I have ever had! Saw the Lego place and bought toys at the big toy store. Stood in line for 40 minutes for some ice cream at Ghiradelli. The boys rode the merry-go-round. Colin was so cute - he loved it so much and when he is having fun he is soooo cute and just overflowing with fun. The evening was pretty uneventful - which was just fine with me.

Monday - spent some time at pool then went across the way to the Boardwalk. Rented one of those bikes that a bunch of people can sit in and peddle. The boys loved that. That evening I really wanted to eat rice (homesick, I guess - and it is impossible to find asian food at Disney, except in Epcot but you have to buy a park pass to get into Epcot). We went back to the Polynesian and had dinner at the cafe there which was actually a pretty trendy place with good food and awesome sticky rice. Took a walk through the pool area which was really cool and when we got back to the resort I put Colin to bed and Dan took the boys for a walk on the beach and watched Epcot's fireworks (Epcot was right next door to us so we could see and hear the fireworks every night).

Tuesday was that awful day at Magic Kingdom...And the embarrassing events that followed.
(Cute story about Alex - Alex and I went on the Haunted Manion Ride together. At the beginning everyone stands in a room while a voice speaks over head and then the walls start rising up. Alex got so freaked out when the walls started moving, - he yelled out, "Aghhh! The walls are moving!!" and everyone laughed. He really thinks the mansion is haunted!)

Wednesday - horrible hangover...Refused to go to another theme park so Dan took Alex and Brandon back to Magic Kingdom and I stayed at the resort with Colin. Turned on the TV and layed there with Colin climbing all over me until about 10:00 when I finally felt like I could move a little. Went for a walk. Took a long nap with Colin...Got up to puke...Ordered room service. Felt much better after puking and eating some food. Went for a long walk with Colin into Epcot (which, since it was right next door, I could just walk over instead of having to figure out which bus to take, where to get off and have to listen to Colin cry and wiggle around on my lap because he can't run up and down the aisle). I LOVED Epcot. It was so pretty there and not crowded and no rides. I let Colin walk all over and didn't worry about loosing him. This was a very peaceful and happy stretch of time for me. I will love this memory forever. Colin and me at Epcot. He played the bongo drums with the Africans and marched behind the British soldiers. He sat on the cobblestone steps and watched a Shakespearean play and danced to Scottish bagpipes. Nobody cried, whined, asked me to buy a toy, nobody needed to go to the bathroom and nobody was hungry or too tired to walk. There were no annoying lines to wait in a no horrible bus rides. We met up with Dan and the boys around 6:30 and ordered room service for dinner. Dan went out for beers and sports at the ESPN place across the bridge after dinner. He was hung over the next day...But he didn't fall over on the way back.

Thurs was a bit windy/chilly for swimming so we spent the morning chasing lizards around the pool area. I caught 2 and put them in a bucket for them to torture (not really...They just carried them around). In the evening I took Alex and Brandon to see the Cirque du Soleil show "La Nouba". We were seated way too close (2nd row) - so didn't get the full awesomeness of the effects and choreography. Anyways - boys LOVED it...I enjoyed it very much too - but nothing compared to the "O" show.

Friday we went home. Same old usual plane ride crap.

Saturday I had a great day. The best day of our vacation. I was so happy to be home from Disney Hell. I slept until 7:30. I went for a hack with my friend Katy and even though Cody (my horse) was being a total putz, and I needed to pee so bad I had to get off him, run behind a giant oak tree, squeeze in next to a stone wall and squat over a thorn bush, it was still great. Came home. Took a long nap. Nanny came and took the kids away - got jiggy wid'it and then went to a nice peaceful dinner with Dan. The best day!

Haven't seen Dan in 2 days - he's been working nonstop. The house is a mess and schedule is hectic...But it's a breeze compared to last week!!!

Home Sweet Insane Home!

P.S. For more pics from Disney Hell go to my other BLOG at 360.yahoo.com/leenie71689

Peeling Layers

My second son, Brandon, has developed a very quirky behavior. He wears several layers of clothing at all times (except when he takes a bath). Not just 2 or 3 layers - More like 7 or 10 layers.

The fact that he looks ridiculous is of no concern to me.

It is the inconvenience of all those layers that is bothersome to me.

I think the problem started when he was wearing just one layer of clothing. He would change his clothes several times a day, turning his drawers out and leaving his clothes all over the floor, but ending up in the same outfit. I decided that if he had less clothes, he would have fewer things to leave on the floor and fewer things for me to pick up a thousand times a day. So, I told him, you can pick 5 shirts and 5 pants and the rest I will put away. He agreeably chose his articles. I took the remaining clothes and put them in a big garbage bag to store in the attic until Colin was big enough to use them. I think he saw the garbage bag and thought I was throwing his stuff away.

So, when I was busy doing something else, he snuck over and took his clothes back. I found them (all over the floor) and took them away again.

Later, he snuck over and took the clothing back - again. The cleaver little guy hid his clothes in little piles ALL Over the HOUSE! I found the clothes a little at a time and stored them away again.

Yup.

He went back and retrieved his clothing again. This time he was even more ingenious in his retrieval effort. He decided that if he was wearing the clothes, I couldn't take them away again. This is when he started wearing layer upon layer of clothing.

Ok.

I get it.

It's your stuff and it's not right to take them away from you. You can keep your stuff, but take care of them.

Unfortunately, I think the damage has been done and he refuses to slim down his attire. So, I decided, I will just let it alone, for now, and have him pick up his own clothes several times a day...Which can take forever and is very inconvenient since I have to stand there and make sure he actually does the job.

He continues to change his clothes several times a day, and still ends up in the same outfit (but the layers are usually in a different order). He still leaves all his clothes scattered on the bedroom floor and I still have to stand there and watch him slowly put them away. But this is only the beginning of the multitude of challenges that arise from this peculiarity.

It becomes a significant obstacle when nature calls.

One evening when we were out to dinner, he needed to go to the bathroom. I took him to the bathroom - which was very cold - like at least 10 degrees colder than the rest of the restaurant. He needed to go #2. Well, it turns out that at the bottom of all those layers (9 layers all together) he was wearing feetie pajamas. So, we had to take off 8 shirts and pull down 2 pairs of pants before we got to the feetie pajamas which we also had to take down (incidentally, he had undies and socks on inside the feeties). There he sat, in the freezing cold public bathroom, nearly naked - his skinny little body shivering on the toilet seat. I thought that would teach him a lesson.

Not.

A few days later, he had diarrhea. Still wearing several layers of clothing, he ran to the bathroom and had to take off all his clothing to sit on the seat. Yup. You guessed it. He didn't make it. He shat in his undies. He almost made it, but the zipper of the feeties got stuck and he couldn't pull them down fast enough.

Yet still there is another problem with him wearing all his clothes at the same time. When can I wash them? I guess I don't really need to wash every layer - probably just the top layer and the bottom layer...Oh, I forgot, he rotates the layers so I guess I do need to wash them all. But how do I get them off his body. He wears them to bed too. Maybe when he is in the bathtub I will heist them...But I'm afraid this will only fuel the fire - or maybe start something else...Something worse...

Still, there is another problem to all these layers. As I mentioned, he also wears layers to bed at night. We keep our home very warm and he likes to sleep under a lot of blankets...So he gets sweaty in the night and then his hair sticks up in the morning.

Finally, the thing that I dislike the most about this behavior is that I can't see his "cutie little body". Again, it's not that I care if he looks ridiculous or not. It's just that he is such a cute kid with such an adorable, agile little body - and I get so much pleasure from looking at him and watching him move.

So...I guess I can only wait it out...Patiently...And hope it will end before summer comes.