Neverending Story

I have a new friend.

She came into my life unexpectedly. A friend introduced me to her.

I immediatly liked her for her name. It spoke of cleverness and humour. It told me that she takes what she does seriously but she doesn't take it all or herself too seriously.

I think I am right about this.

She always has something smart to say. Mostly she talks about politics and current events. Sometimes she just throws something silly out there - But she is always original and witty and funny as hell. I was immediatly drawn to her sharp wit and smooth sarcasm. I enjoyed the deftness with which she spins serious subjects around so that all the facts can be seen and the nimble way she exposes the absurdity of it. I wish I could think like that.

She has a really cool mind. But what I really admire about her is her confidence. She expresses viewpoints that may be less than politically correct and she always expresses them with honesty and frankness. This is not how she demonstrates her confidence though. True self-confidence is when one does not demand, expect or ask you to take on a viewpoint. She encourages you to possess your own viewpoint and respects you for whatever it may be. No. She is not egotistical or cocky. She is self-assured.

It is easy to see that she is smart, clever, witty...confident and forthright. But some might mistake her as a cynic - full of sharp sarcasm and unorthodox ways. These are things she is not.

She is every person and she is her own. She is a loving, giving, sensible caregiver. She is a humorous, creative playmate. She is a loyal, trustworthy, reliable neighbor. She is a forthright, true and dignified citizen.

She is a person I want to be my friend.

So, I was very pleased and flattered when she embraced my friendship. This pleases me more than I care to admit. Actually, it really embaresses me...that I wants so much for her to like me. I guess the thing is my father always said, "You are who your friends are" and I do believe this is true. So I guess it makes me feel good and proud to be her friend because that must mean that I'm somewhere in the league of her likes.

Anyways. I'm having lots of fun getting to know her - finding commonalities, discovering differences, learning new things that I didn't know before. But sometimes I can't keep up with her. She's so smart. Then I feel insecure and stupid and frivolous. She knows a lot about everything - politics, current events, pop-culture. These are all things that my mind does not absorb. I find politics frustrating, current events scary and...well, pop culture I can do, but I have no retention of names, dates, titles. The only thing I know is what I feel and observe in everyday life. I worry that at some point she will feel restless and bored by me - perhaps disappointed that I can't keep up with her brilliant mind. But worse than that, I'm afraid she catches on to me. I'm afraid she discovers that I have nothing going on inside...that I am just a ditz and a mush...that I really am a lame little stay-at-home, suburban, cookie-cutter housewife.

I have a feeling that if we had not met in this way we would not have become friends. I have a feeling she would have looked at me and seen me for another cliche homemaker/mommy. And, to be honest, I probably would have looked at her and thought she was a little too cool and unorthodox for me. But today we are on the same page in the first chapter of what will hopefully turn out to be a neverending story.